Stop trying to break in to this site. I’ve got your number.

I don’t live all that far from the U.S. Capitol, which was breached by Trumpists two days ago, necessitating a 6 p.m. curfew in the District.

The card riffs on the protracted pace of results from the 2020 general elections. The “dates” on the calendar represent each state’s respective electoral votes for Biden.