I understand–I think. They have to do it. They have to get their name out there again and again and five more times: in print, in broadcast, in person, via word of mouth–on (gasp) multiple platforms. It’s marketing. It’s part of the plan.

But I don’t have to like it. And one of my least favorite aspects of being marketed to is the dreaded robocalls. April is primary season in the District. I was reminded of this just this evening around…wait for it… dinnertime when I received my first robocall.

There are 13 candidates in the Democrat’s primary race for mayor alone. Along with the incumbent, no fewer than four of the people vying for the electorate’s votes are sitting city councilmembers. The Washington Post announced the results of a poll last Wednesday. Embattled incumbent Vincent Gray leads the pack with 24%. City councilmember Muriel Bowser is in a two-way tie with “None/no vote” for second place (12%). There is a three-way tie for third place among Councilmembers Jack Evans, Tommy Wells and “No opinion” (11%). Councilmember Vincent Orange and two others are polling in the single digits.

And if your sitting-city-councilmember-cum-candidate, like mine, would have been up for re-election in his or her ward, then there are a bevy of wannabes even more obscure-looking to fill that vacancy. I don’t remember his name yet, but it was one of those ward-level obscure people I’ve never heard of looking to stick his prerecorded name in my ear.

(Remember Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, when Khan has one of his minions stick the grotybug into Checkov’s ear with a forceps to eat his brain? The experience is something like that.)

A visit to the D.C. Board of Elections & Ethics website confirms my worst fears about possible exposure to robocalls. Including what’s-his-name I’ve heard from once already, there are three more candidates to fill the vacancy in my ward. Then, there are seven people running for the at-large council seat and three more for the U.S. Delegate spot. Also on the ballot are six people running for U.S. Senator and two for U.S. Representative, and the District doesn’t even elect Senators and Representatives–except in its own parallel universe!

Now, there may be relief in the guise of some software which can be found at Nomorobo.com. Reportedly, it can nix the robocall after the first ring of the telephone. Now that I’ve done the math, I’m ready to sign up.